Haikus of Detective Conan
by RanMouri82
Summary: Conan and company in five, seven, five syllables! Update: Ai's Haiku Laboratory
1. Conan's Haiku Crime Scene

_**Haikus of Detective Conan**_

**Author's Note:** I started these way back when the dub first aired on Adult Swim, so my perspective's shifted since then. (Feels like _eons_ ago!) Enjoy, and please review!

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Conan's Haiku Crime Scene

Seventeen, three feet.

Not a good combination.

Conan can tell you.

------

Grand house, many rooms.

Vacant home of the Kudous.

Turns out, it's haunted.

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Moonlight Sonata.

Creepy case, but it gets worse.

Dude looks like lady!

------

Roundhouses, a punch.

Shin'ichi hasn't called yet.

Ran's breaking the house.

------

Kogorou needs cash.

Conan solves a case for him.

Kogorou gets beer.

------

Shin'ichi? Just friends.

She cries every time he calls.

But she's not in love!

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Megure was stumped.

The Inspector got some clues.

Man, Conan's handy!

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Bowtie, skateboard helps.

Agasa makes many things.

Why not fix Conan?

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Genta is massive.

He's also useless, stupid.

Why, Detective Boys?

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Dark, mystery girl.

Ai made poison, shrank Conan.

Make an antidote!

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Tried antidote, failed.

Shin'ichi was so darn close.

Make it work next time!

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Hmm, Detective Boys?

Or JDL, they're the same.

They're Conan's Suckas.

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Kogorou's dull, drunk.

The worst detective ever.

He's hilarious!

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Forget calculus.

Now it's just the alphabet.

Being shrunk has perks.

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Conan's kiddy crew.

Those grade-schoolers got his back.

Go, Detective Boys!

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So bright, smart, clever.

Even looks like Shin'ichi.

My boyfriend's _seven_?


	2. Kogorou's Haiku Bar

Kogorou's Haiku Bar  


One, two, three, four beers.

Ran's dad keeps interrupting.

So, she gives him more.

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Cans scattered on desk.

Soon, Ran cleans up all the trash.

What is she, a _maid_?

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Kogorou falls well!

Dart after dart—doesn't hurt?

He's had some practice.

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Solves cases through trance?

More like Ran's boyfriend drugged you.

"Sleeping Detective."

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Judo training failed.

But his daughter's a black belt.

How did that happen?

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Passed out on the floor.

What happened to Mouri-san?

There's no more _sake_!

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Most urgent crisis!

He desperately needs beer!

Bye, Ran's college fund.

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Successes galore.

Kogorou's won fame and cash.

Still Ran, Conan starve.

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What's with the ashtray?

It's way past overflowing.

Mama don't work here.

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Wife left long ago.

But_ no_ way he'll pick up girls!

Ran's her mom's backup.

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Deadbeat parenting?

Kogorou's responsible,

After his sixth beer!


	3. Ran's Haiku Dojo

Ran's Haiku Dojo

With her karate,

Ran could beat down the Black Org.

Conan, just _tell_ her!

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Shin'ichi's calling!

Sounds like he's in the next room.

Where did Conan go?

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Sonoko? It's strange.

She's so dippy, boy-crazy.

Ran's her friend—_because_?

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Ran's left in the dark.

Boyfriend's a Sherlock Holmes freak.

What did you expect?

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Her father's servant.

She keeps cleaning the pig sty.

Ran's Cinderella.

------

Conan needs loose change.

Minutes later, Ran gets call.

Just coincidence.

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She meets Dad, Conan.

People see them, run off scared.

"Where's the dead body?"

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Cries with each phone call.

Ran's ninety percent water,

Ten percent logic.

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Smashes car window.

Wails on each rough attacker.

Ran could pro wrestle!

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It's just Conan, right?

If not, Shin'ichi saw—_what_?

Better not to know.

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Ran is amazing.

Dead bodies, blood, tons of gore,

And she's still _normal!_


	4. Ai's Haiku Laboratory

Ai's Haiku Laboratory 

Bus jack hostages.

"_Sniff_—you don't smell weird to me."

'Cause Ai washed with Dove.

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Haibara rambles

To Conan, thoughts of despair

Then says, "Just kidding!"

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One more all-nighter;

Ai's pulling double lab shifts.

Visine helps red eye.

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Akemi's heaven:

"Little" sis petting a dog.

Wow! Shiho's so _cute!_

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Dwelling on death, fear,

Ai's more cynical than most;

_Acts_ like a grandma.

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Ai's odd quotables,

Like—what Ran's body's good for!

(Conan said nothing.)

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Shiho at party:

There's gin, vodka, and vermouth?

No cocktails for her.

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Pressed gun to temple,

Pronouncing Conan's death fate.

Ai was _still_ kidding!

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For murdered sister,

Shiho switched sides mid-season.

Life can be like sports.

------

Complex chemistry;

Now Ai does her times tables.

Think _Conan_ dumbed down?

------

Miyano Shiho

Fits in five full syllables;

Haibara Ai? No.


End file.
